Decisions! I cant make decisions! I used to be SO decisive, THIS is what I want, THIS is where I want to be, THIS is how it's gonna go. And now My favorite word is like "whatever". UGH how did I get here?? Where did my "will" go??
It could be that I just dont really care. I Am where I meant to go, and now that I am here, I just dont care?? But I think it's more than that. I certainly should have an opinion on Supper. But if someone asks me what I want, I cant decide. Menus at restaurants are just torment. I just get the same thing all the time. It's almost easier if I dont have to choose between certain things because I can suggest loads of things. Just asking me to decide between set choices makes my mind go completely blank. Totally! And I answer "whatever" so other people are constantly making my decisions for me.
Except when it comes to the kids. I make almost All of the decisions regarding the kids. Occassionally someone else has input but rarely does someone else do the final deciding. Because when it comes right down to it, no one else is quite as "involved" with the decisions. From who has long or short hair, to what they are wearing, and what activities they are going to be involved in, no one else is nearly as committed to making things right, getting them where they need to go, or being sure they are happy and pleased with the decisions we are making. So yeah I dont have as much trouble deciding for them.
Do I have any major decisions to make at this time? well...not really. There are things I am going over in my mind but no decisions have to happen now. Unless it is Should Annika go to Preschool this year? Or wait til next year? And which one?
I have been thinking about whether or not I should go back to work outside the house. Sometimes I get paralysed by the thought that once the kids are all in school, THIS is all I have to look forward to, and that aint pretty. But no decisions to be made any time soon.
Anyway that's me and decisions. Dont make me make any today :)