School days = sleeping in children.
Weekends = getting up early children.
What is wrong with this picture?
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Insomnia
Last night I had one of my infrequent cases of "I Can't Sleep"ness. I really like sleeping so it doesnt happen that often, but usually it follows some sort of dream about doctors and vets and schooling and careers and life choices.
And I lay awake for hours again thinking about the career that I have left behind. And I may have sorted out a few things so Im going to put them into words before I forget what I was thinking at 2 am.
Career left behind; yes more than likely Im never going back to being a Veterinarian. Its not a waste of schooling, just is what it is. But Im not sure I ever should have done it to begin with.
Sometime around when I was 11, someone said I should be a veterinarian. I like animals, I loved horses, I should be a vet. And it did catch on. Everyone said OH yes, she should be a vet. And so without any other plan in place, I was like "yeah, ok, I should be a vet". I mean, if enough people say it to a kid young and undecided enough, it soon makes sense and starts to be all that kid thinks about. Im trying really hard not to make too much of a deal about what my kids want to be.
SO through high school, everyone is all like "Teri's going to be a vet." And therefore it was really all I considered. I went through all the moves, going to AC, taking PreVet. I had almost convinced myself this wasnt my path, I didn't apply for Vet school, I stayed at AC for my entire degree, applied for a Masters as my "back up plan", and started thinking more of a future in genetics. And then someone important talked me into applying to vet school and actually helped me fill out the application. And I applied. And I went for the interview. And I got in. So Im going to Vet School. I mean, with all the people around me thinking I would, and all my classmates wanting exactly what I had gotten, how could I get it, and give it up? So I went through more actions, moving to PEI, going to Vet School. And everyone was so proud.
But I gotta say, my heart was never completely in it. I did ok in classes with minimal work, I didnt apply myself, I wanted more to my life than Vet School and studying and nothing else. Many of my classmates there studied every moment they were awake; I went away on weekends and relaxed at night. I never failed a class but I was never an overachiever there.
And I did get more. I got married and had Taylor while still in school. I was tired of waiting for something to be finished before getting something else.
Finished Vet school, and everyone was so proud. Passed boards and everyone was happy. I was the doctor. I got to put Doctor on my name. DVM followed. I went through more motions of getting a job and moving my family across the country because that was what one did. There isnt a tonne of jobs available in NS, and I didnt go to any of the trouble of sucking up and making all those connections during school that would have helped me get a job afterwards, and besides there is so much more to the world than the Maritimes.
Moved to Manitoba, and ignored the homesickness while starting that new job. And almost right away, I wasnt thrilled. I hated my employer. What a total COW. She was awful. Put on a great face, and then flipped and became someone unbearable. I hated being at work. I stayed away as much as possible.
I also hated being on call. It wasnt that I didnt want to work or didnt want to go out and save lives. But when I was on call I was nauseous the whole time. Dreading the phone call that only came when I was sleeping, and spending hours in the middle of the night rushing out to unexpected and often difficult cases.
And I hated being responsible for lives. I could handle putting sick animals down, I could handle cases that died despite what we did; I hated losing calves and cows unexpectedly or because maybe just maybe did I miss something? What if I were more experienced? Faster? Better? The life and death thing wasnt great for me. Small animal would have been worse; people asking What would I do? And being heartbroken when things didnt go ok. At least dairy and pig farmers were realistic. Ok ship it/put it down whatever. Horse people, now those were a different group. More sad sad people because I couldnt fix things. :(
And I wasnt always that great with body fluids. Hahahahaha I kinda dont have the greatest stomach, feeling woozy with blood if I wasnt the one performing surgery; throwing up with animal vomit, diarrhea, pus, rotting placentas, etc. Just felt sick almost all the time.
But I went through those motions of working and working.
Then my father got sick and died. I went home, and didnt go back to work. Because I was pregnant; because i decided life was too short to go back to work for that woman. SHe made my life hell. She was cruel and heartless when my father died. She was inhuman. And I wouldnt ever look at her again. Lest I might assault her. You just wouldnt believe.
So while waiting for Holly to be born I had loads of time to think. And I came to a conclusion; I was living someone else's life. I wasnt doing what I wanted; I was doing what everyone had expected of me. And Dad dying changed everything. I thought life was too short to be that unhappy. I came a little unhinged and I dont think Ive ever been the same. I had no desire to be doing what I was doing. Of course there are things I miss about it; I was pretty good at surgery and I actually never really got flustered by anything; pretty easy going. And I missed the farmers. But I didnt miss being on call; I didnt miss animals dying on my; I didnt miss the crappy people and crappy cases. I was sad about Dad dying but I was pretty content to spend time with Taylor after so much time spent going for days without seeing her because of being on call.
After Holly was born I did some horse vetting for awhile which was fun but I often felt resentful that i had to leave the kids and go out to do a call spur of the moment. I just didnt really want to do it anymore.
SO what I concluded is that while my past and education led me to where I am, which I like, I wont go back to living that way; someone else's life can be had by someone else.
Then, I could go to sleep.
And I lay awake for hours again thinking about the career that I have left behind. And I may have sorted out a few things so Im going to put them into words before I forget what I was thinking at 2 am.
Career left behind; yes more than likely Im never going back to being a Veterinarian. Its not a waste of schooling, just is what it is. But Im not sure I ever should have done it to begin with.
Sometime around when I was 11, someone said I should be a veterinarian. I like animals, I loved horses, I should be a vet. And it did catch on. Everyone said OH yes, she should be a vet. And so without any other plan in place, I was like "yeah, ok, I should be a vet". I mean, if enough people say it to a kid young and undecided enough, it soon makes sense and starts to be all that kid thinks about. Im trying really hard not to make too much of a deal about what my kids want to be.
SO through high school, everyone is all like "Teri's going to be a vet." And therefore it was really all I considered. I went through all the moves, going to AC, taking PreVet. I had almost convinced myself this wasnt my path, I didn't apply for Vet school, I stayed at AC for my entire degree, applied for a Masters as my "back up plan", and started thinking more of a future in genetics. And then someone important talked me into applying to vet school and actually helped me fill out the application. And I applied. And I went for the interview. And I got in. So Im going to Vet School. I mean, with all the people around me thinking I would, and all my classmates wanting exactly what I had gotten, how could I get it, and give it up? So I went through more actions, moving to PEI, going to Vet School. And everyone was so proud.
But I gotta say, my heart was never completely in it. I did ok in classes with minimal work, I didnt apply myself, I wanted more to my life than Vet School and studying and nothing else. Many of my classmates there studied every moment they were awake; I went away on weekends and relaxed at night. I never failed a class but I was never an overachiever there.
And I did get more. I got married and had Taylor while still in school. I was tired of waiting for something to be finished before getting something else.
Finished Vet school, and everyone was so proud. Passed boards and everyone was happy. I was the doctor. I got to put Doctor on my name. DVM followed. I went through more motions of getting a job and moving my family across the country because that was what one did. There isnt a tonne of jobs available in NS, and I didnt go to any of the trouble of sucking up and making all those connections during school that would have helped me get a job afterwards, and besides there is so much more to the world than the Maritimes.
Moved to Manitoba, and ignored the homesickness while starting that new job. And almost right away, I wasnt thrilled. I hated my employer. What a total COW. She was awful. Put on a great face, and then flipped and became someone unbearable. I hated being at work. I stayed away as much as possible.
I also hated being on call. It wasnt that I didnt want to work or didnt want to go out and save lives. But when I was on call I was nauseous the whole time. Dreading the phone call that only came when I was sleeping, and spending hours in the middle of the night rushing out to unexpected and often difficult cases.
And I hated being responsible for lives. I could handle putting sick animals down, I could handle cases that died despite what we did; I hated losing calves and cows unexpectedly or because maybe just maybe did I miss something? What if I were more experienced? Faster? Better? The life and death thing wasnt great for me. Small animal would have been worse; people asking What would I do? And being heartbroken when things didnt go ok. At least dairy and pig farmers were realistic. Ok ship it/put it down whatever. Horse people, now those were a different group. More sad sad people because I couldnt fix things. :(
And I wasnt always that great with body fluids. Hahahahaha I kinda dont have the greatest stomach, feeling woozy with blood if I wasnt the one performing surgery; throwing up with animal vomit, diarrhea, pus, rotting placentas, etc. Just felt sick almost all the time.
But I went through those motions of working and working.
Then my father got sick and died. I went home, and didnt go back to work. Because I was pregnant; because i decided life was too short to go back to work for that woman. SHe made my life hell. She was cruel and heartless when my father died. She was inhuman. And I wouldnt ever look at her again. Lest I might assault her. You just wouldnt believe.
So while waiting for Holly to be born I had loads of time to think. And I came to a conclusion; I was living someone else's life. I wasnt doing what I wanted; I was doing what everyone had expected of me. And Dad dying changed everything. I thought life was too short to be that unhappy. I came a little unhinged and I dont think Ive ever been the same. I had no desire to be doing what I was doing. Of course there are things I miss about it; I was pretty good at surgery and I actually never really got flustered by anything; pretty easy going. And I missed the farmers. But I didnt miss being on call; I didnt miss animals dying on my; I didnt miss the crappy people and crappy cases. I was sad about Dad dying but I was pretty content to spend time with Taylor after so much time spent going for days without seeing her because of being on call.
After Holly was born I did some horse vetting for awhile which was fun but I often felt resentful that i had to leave the kids and go out to do a call spur of the moment. I just didnt really want to do it anymore.
SO what I concluded is that while my past and education led me to where I am, which I like, I wont go back to living that way; someone else's life can be had by someone else.
Then, I could go to sleep.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Random Thought #7
Wow. Americans must be so proud of those idiots on Fox News. I wonder how many of those people actually really believe that spew?
Monday, March 23, 2009
Hockey End of Year Tournament
At the end of our hockey season we try to take part in the Burger King 4X4 women's tournament! And it was played last weekend in full. OH my god that is a lot of hockey. Our team was awesome all year and we didnt gather new players for the tournament, with most of our team signing up to play. We called ourselves the No Additives team; a few of the other teams seemed a little "stacked" with some new and advanced players. Funny tho we did pick up one player at the last minute to make up for some absent team members for some games.
We played 3 games on Saturday...starting with a tough 1-1 tie to the black team, then a 2-1 win over Yellow, and a 6-1 win over the Sat night Blades. Made for a very long day but I do think we played the second game better than the first.
We finished first in our division therefore we didnt have to play in the Quarter finals, advancing directly on to the Semifinals.
Sunday I had to get up and drive to the Valley to attend Cullen's Christening and first birthday party so I did miss the Semifinal game which the team had little trouble with; a win over the Red team 5-0.
Rushing home from the Valley, changing in the car between passing large trucks, I made it JUST in time for the game(actually missed the first 2 minutes and our first goal). The Championship game was amazing; ups and downs, we were ahead, they were ahead. Then we went into overtime with a 5-5 tie; overtime is played 3 on 3 rather than 4 on 4, which was a little different and we almost gave that up a few times with our awesome goalie saving us.
Wth 2 minutes to go in the overtime period and just before reducing to 2 on 2, our team scored the winning goal! It was Very exciting. lol One of the hardest and most emotional games ive played.
Our league was so much more competative this year, much more than last. The games were well attended and each one was tough. Our team played together incredibly well and we got very predictable and dependable. I dont think we lost a game after Christmas; We did have a couple of ties tho.
Im going to miss those girls next year!
Some photos! Ill add more as I find them ;)
Friday, March 13, 2009
Random Thought #6
Tim Horton's Coffee tastes like burnt crap. Im guessing anyway. Why Why Why do I want it so much?
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Just to Clarify my work Position
Which I dont tend to do a lot because whatever; but in the past couple of weeks Ive had an abnormal number of people casually comment that it must be nice that I only 'work' a couple of days a week or that my job isnt stressful or hard because Im not "working" very much. Or that its not equal to a real job because I only "work" a little bit. So Ive felt the need to clarify it a little bit so that I might not have to hear these comments anymore.
One of my classes is an animal breeding lab. Tonnes of statistics. There are over 50 students in the class and every week they do a 2 hour lab. This is broken into 4 sections so there are 8 hours a week spent teaching those labs. Then each student passes in a lab each week so besides those 8 hours in lab there are close to 16 hours of marking. Not like they are easy and short labs. SO 24 hours a week just teaching and marking those labs. Add another hour for preparation for the next week, and we might be getting close to the time spent.
During the time that Ive been sick and including the time Ive been on antibiotics; I only actually missed 1 day of class. Only 1, in now 10 weeks Ive been sick.
The other class I teach is the lectures and labs for a nutrition course. Beyond the hours in class are also the hours of preparation and improving this class over last year :) Its been much better this year. And include the marking of weekly assignments, tests, and term papers and presentations, and again we might start to make a mark on some time. I dont even try to add that one up.
But What I end up with is a pretty much full time job. Just because I am lucky enough to be able to do a lot of that marking and preparation at home shouldnt make it less of a job, and that actually allows me to be able to be the one looking after most of the kids' care and activities; Most days of the week I am able to be picking them up and running them from one fun filled adventure to another. Only 2 days a week this semester someone else has been doing that. other than those 2 days I do much at home so that I can be home when the kids are but that means a lot of evenings and weekends are used for working. At home.
Im not sure why recently people have felt the need to make my job less than it is and in fact ask if I ever intend to Really go back to work; I HAVE.
I love my job right now even tho I work long hours and do some dull stuff like marking for hours on end.
So quit knocking my job!
One of my classes is an animal breeding lab. Tonnes of statistics. There are over 50 students in the class and every week they do a 2 hour lab. This is broken into 4 sections so there are 8 hours a week spent teaching those labs. Then each student passes in a lab each week so besides those 8 hours in lab there are close to 16 hours of marking. Not like they are easy and short labs. SO 24 hours a week just teaching and marking those labs. Add another hour for preparation for the next week, and we might be getting close to the time spent.
During the time that Ive been sick and including the time Ive been on antibiotics; I only actually missed 1 day of class. Only 1, in now 10 weeks Ive been sick.
The other class I teach is the lectures and labs for a nutrition course. Beyond the hours in class are also the hours of preparation and improving this class over last year :) Its been much better this year. And include the marking of weekly assignments, tests, and term papers and presentations, and again we might start to make a mark on some time. I dont even try to add that one up.
But What I end up with is a pretty much full time job. Just because I am lucky enough to be able to do a lot of that marking and preparation at home shouldnt make it less of a job, and that actually allows me to be able to be the one looking after most of the kids' care and activities; Most days of the week I am able to be picking them up and running them from one fun filled adventure to another. Only 2 days a week this semester someone else has been doing that. other than those 2 days I do much at home so that I can be home when the kids are but that means a lot of evenings and weekends are used for working. At home.
Im not sure why recently people have felt the need to make my job less than it is and in fact ask if I ever intend to Really go back to work; I HAVE.
I love my job right now even tho I work long hours and do some dull stuff like marking for hours on end.
So quit knocking my job!
Friday, March 06, 2009
Random Thought #5
Just watching a little Oprah and this isnt something I usually do because I dont get her. I dont get her at all. Who is she? And why are so many people so enamoured by her? I dont get it. Self-importance just oozes from her.
Anyway I was kinda feeling bad for her, getting a chunky again, when Im sure it was hard work to lose weight and now everyone gets to watch her get fluffed again, and she did all these shows and wrote all these booked and was so full of it over her healthy lifestyle; donuts anyone?
and it got me thinking about how it sucks whenever someone loses weight; people are just watching and waiting "she's going to gain it all back you know." They take great pleasure in the expected failure of sometimes their friends but just as often people they barely know. Is that because they cant lose their weight? Or they just hate to see someone else succeed? And of course inevitably the weight does come back at least some of it, and everyone who waited for the failure cackles and says Told you so. And they get so much pleasure from it. Sad.
But all sympathy dissolved when she had this puppy on; of course Oprah got a purebred cocker spaniel from the dog pound. Whatever. But she's all like we have ALL these dogs at home, I just have to have this one live in my bed.
And then she has Tyler Perry come on and she's Tyler this and Tyler that and I wanna gag about what great friends with Tyler and he's all this rich mogul and Tyler and I were in a car going somewhere blah blah Dropping names like "Jennifer Aniston's birthday pahty" and "oh did I mention I bought an Island?" Nice recession.
but she introduced him as Her Rich Negro Man. And he calls her his Rich Negro Woman. And then they make a joke about white people in this snotty voice and being really rude.
Is this somehow more acceptable than if someone made a joke about a black person? Or a native? or someone else that isn't their race? And lets remind everyone how rich they are in the midst of another recession.
Whatever.
Anyway I was kinda feeling bad for her, getting a chunky again, when Im sure it was hard work to lose weight and now everyone gets to watch her get fluffed again, and she did all these shows and wrote all these booked and was so full of it over her healthy lifestyle; donuts anyone?
and it got me thinking about how it sucks whenever someone loses weight; people are just watching and waiting "she's going to gain it all back you know." They take great pleasure in the expected failure of sometimes their friends but just as often people they barely know. Is that because they cant lose their weight? Or they just hate to see someone else succeed? And of course inevitably the weight does come back at least some of it, and everyone who waited for the failure cackles and says Told you so. And they get so much pleasure from it. Sad.
But all sympathy dissolved when she had this puppy on; of course Oprah got a purebred cocker spaniel from the dog pound. Whatever. But she's all like we have ALL these dogs at home, I just have to have this one live in my bed.
And then she has Tyler Perry come on and she's Tyler this and Tyler that and I wanna gag about what great friends with Tyler and he's all this rich mogul and Tyler and I were in a car going somewhere blah blah Dropping names like "Jennifer Aniston's birthday pahty" and "oh did I mention I bought an Island?" Nice recession.
but she introduced him as Her Rich Negro Man. And he calls her his Rich Negro Woman. And then they make a joke about white people in this snotty voice and being really rude.
Is this somehow more acceptable than if someone made a joke about a black person? Or a native? or someone else that isn't their race? And lets remind everyone how rich they are in the midst of another recession.
Whatever.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Flooding March 03/09
Truro was built on a flood plain and floods a lot. Some floods have been pretty impressive although the past couple of years have been pretty quiet.
The other night while we were sleeping the bridge down the street from our new house grabbed an ice jam and flooded out tonnes of the area. It was clearing up by the time we got up in the morning, but Im sure it was a long night for many, and we were able to view the aftereffects. I gotta admit I get a kick outta this sort of thing and tend to like sight seeing.
Check out some of the news here.
Some photos Taylor and I took today; I thought this would make a nice addition to her 4H photography project!
The other night while we were sleeping the bridge down the street from our new house grabbed an ice jam and flooded out tonnes of the area. It was clearing up by the time we got up in the morning, but Im sure it was a long night for many, and we were able to view the aftereffects. I gotta admit I get a kick outta this sort of thing and tend to like sight seeing.
Check out some of the news here.
Some photos Taylor and I took today; I thought this would make a nice addition to her 4H photography project!
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